Legolas: Fine, whatever, just open the door. Gimli: Told you we should go through the mines. Who knew that mountains could be cold on top? Pippin: Where the hell did all this snow come from? Strider: Look, they fixed my sword! (swish) Wheeeee!įrodo: Such beautiful scenery. Certainly not because I have larceny on my mind. Gimli: You can't throw them out while I'm here!Įlrond: Right, all of you wankers leave now.īoromir: I'll just invite myself along. Nazgul: The five of us must flee, for we are outnumbered by this one Ranger!Įlrond: Get the hell out of my place, I don't need trouble. Give us the ring, little worm.įrodo: Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names. Merry: (loudly) Or the ring either, right? Pippin: (loudly) And don't mention your real name, right? Gandalf: Alas, if only he had imprisoned me at the top of a high tower without walls or ceiling so that he could not prevent a giant eagle from rescuing me, instead of in the canonical dungeon deep underground. Saruman: Excuse me while I tend to my vast army of evil orcs and war machinery which were in plain sight. Saruman: See, all I had to do was cross out "Good" on my business cards and write "Bad", and I'm all set. THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING (abridged version) is more journals of characters including Frodo and Boromir. BUt this I copied off of the old board as soon as I saw it. I found this along with Hobbit, Two Towers, and Return of the king on the Book a Minute site, darn funny stuff. (My first post on the new board.so I hope it comes out all right ) (A bunch of feathered DEUS EX MACHINAS come out of NOWHERE and save The Ring has been destroyed, but now we will die in Mordor. The Hordes of Mordor will destroy Minis Tirith. (Gandalf frees THEODEN and overthrows SARUMAN. Having triumphed over EVIL, an obvious literary ALLUSION to that movie In the mines of Moria, but will later be RESURRECTED in GLORIFIED form They areĪttacked by black riders a LOT, and it is SCARY.)įrodo Baggins, if Sauron ever gets this Ring, the world will beĭestroyed, and evil will reign forever. In the meantime, leave it for Frodo to play with. In a couple decades, we'll try toĭestroy it. Peace and quiet, here I come.īilbo Baggins, your Ring is evil. (Bilbo Baggins turns INVISIBLE, and then some obscure co-star SLAYS the (They get captured by SPIDERS, and it is DANGEROUS, because they almost Then they get captured by ORCS, and it is DANGEROUS, because (They get captured by TROLLS, and it is DANGEROUS, because they almost Now that you're all here, let's go on a quest. My God, is everyone in this movie gay but me?Īs the old boards are down, here is the Hobbit and The Lord Of The Rings condensed into a 4 minuteĪh, now for some peace and quiet. Said he was going alone, but took Sam with him. Might however have been blood loss.įrodo went to Mordor. Still not King, but at least Boromir seemed to think I was. Though he died bravely in my arms, am now quite sure that he was very definitely gay. Legolas told me that a shadow and a threat had been growing in his mind. Have a feeling if I make a move, Sam would kill me. I wonder if he would like me if I was King?īeginning to find Frodo disturbingly attractive. THE SECRET DIARY OF ARAGORN SON OF ARATHORN
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